At school..

I love reading. Everybody knows that. When I can't read, I feel like brain is falling apart inch by inch. Another thing... when I read sequels, it really irrityates me when I can't read the next one... I tend to forget what happened in the previous sequels. LOL. XD

And I read manga. I hate it that the ione I'm reading right now, Kuroshitsuji, only updates every month. Isn't that unfair?! Gah. It's making me pissed. :(

I'm reading the gathering right now, though I don't even get it that much. XD

Yester-yesterday was my birthday.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah.

So? tamad ko mag type ah. talaka

Big scary things always come from small laughable things. :(

I had a fight with my boyfriend again, because of stupid Narutemate Accel.

It really frustrates me because it started from small thing.

Some things are better left I said, but he told me that I was making an ass out of him. You see, i have a stupid crush on this guy, and we kinda fought. I was feeling really bad, and I don't need to tell him, right? He's jealous with this crush-guy... but I love him. More than he ever knows or will ever know.

And then the next day, I was playing naruto early morning. I thought I was playing with Ramil, but he actually grabbed the controller from Ramil and played himself. He was saying things, and I really really felt so insulted. Naturally, I got pissed off I was swearing. Well, in the end, we had a fight.

How could we fight over such a small thing? I think I should really talk to him. It's our sem break, and 6 days with out talking to each other? this isn't right. I hope I can find a way to talk to him, settle things once and for all.

i don't want to lose him. i'm not ready yet.

Anna Tsuchiya I LOVE YOU NAO

gawd this song is AMAZING. I really recommend you guys listen to it...

Anna Tsuchiya - Forever

and yes, it's ENGLISH. :D

I really am a shopoholic//Masskara with Jay

I realized that i was a real shopaholic after I borrowed 400 cash from the payments for the tickets from our school raffle. (I swear I WILL pay it back. promise!)
I bought new pair of boots! But then I'm ba-on sa utang again. Oh gawd. I have to pay the fees for our JS Camp, and then the 400 hundred for the tickets. Jeezus. And I still have to get that scarf! AND THAT SHIRT!! AND THAT COWBOY HAT!! AND THAT BOW TIE!! Why do I have to be a shopaholic?! Is this some kind of CURSE?!

Anyway, Jay and I enjoyed the festivities of the city, which was rare for us. We walked from mall to mall and went window shopping. :D Man. Then we rode carnival rides.. kung sa ilonggo pa, peryahan bala haw. XD... we rode the octopus and the Ferris Wheel, which was uber scary. haha. (IT WAS SHAKING, MAN!! we went home at seven thirty.. and that was my greatest masskara to date. :)

Watching Avatar at the moment. Ta-ta!

Nothingness

In times like these when I want to hold you
and feel the warmth of your arms
My heart flutters like the wings of a butterfly
when bathed under the light of your eyes.

Hold me close to you, closer, tighter
Never let me go.
Dig deeper into me, deeper, farther
Never let me go.

Ah, it must be your lips,
dancing like the wind on my skin
Must it be the sound of your voice in my ear?
As our tongues intertwine,
and our bodies collide,
Everything fades into nothingness.

Your fingers caress every part of me,
making my heart ache with your love.
Show me your love, gentler, faster...
Never let me go.

No, it must be the scent of your hair,
the quiet moans that escape your lips.
The static you send down my spine.
As the night turns to dawn,
and our bodies collide,
Everything else fades into nothingness.



Yeah. It's lyrics to a song. And yes, I composed that myself. I'd be really happy if someone could make a tune for it. I'm aiming for the Anna Tsuchiya type, rock ballad... ya know. :)

I had fuuuuuuuun <3

It was Patrick's, my boyfriend Kemuel's best friend, birthday and we had some fun. lol. First I went to school to submit our Economics project. I hung around in school for a while and waited for Kemuel to arrive (I was so fortunate Malcolm was there.. he bought me ice cream. X3) ..then both of us went to Patrick's house to go and fetch him.. when we were about to leave, (we were waiting for the rain to stop) but God is just so good to make Ostin (the guy with the car), Ralph and Jay to arrive just in time! XD

Of course we went with them, to watch their badminton competition (which was totally out of plan).. before their match, we went to a nearby restaurant to eat (all that was left of my money was six pesos hahaha).. then, we went back to the badminton court, and watched Jay's game (Ostin was in his jersey, but he didn't have a game. lol) before the game even started, my boyfriend and Patrick left because of boredom.

After Jay's game, the two of us went to the mall (we went after Patrick and Kemuel) and watched the guys shoot some zombies in the arcade... after that, we watched the Grudge 3 WHICH TOTALLY SUCKED. Ostin was complaining that we should've watched G-force instead, (Patrick would have enjoyed that. he loves cute things.) but well, after watching the movie, I said that he couldn't do anything anymore because what's done is already done.

After the movie, Ostin dropped us at a one-stop 24-hour conbi (short for 'convenience store') and went home... Kemuel went ahead, (he has a VERY early curfew haha.. earlier than mine) And Jay, Patrick and me stayed at the conbi. Jay convinced (more like BRIBED haha.. he bought Patrick a large bag of chips) Patrick and I to stay and wait for his parents with him... well, we did. Then Jay started carving stuff on the conbi's cafe's tables.. said he fells old because the conbi was playing 80's music (and I was singing along to Madonna's 'Borderline') and that, well, we probably wouldn't be doing this in college anymore.

It might sound boring to you, but when I'm with my wacky friends, nothing ever seems so dull. Even the smallest and simplest things become funny when I'm with them. :)

I'll miss them like hell, man. I really, really will.

I WANT THIS DRESS. NAO.

OKAY. I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO SEW MYSELF THIS DRESS. I AM GOING TO FRIGGIN TEACH MYSELF TO SEW. BLAAAAAAAAARG.

Hi there.

I'll be making a new blog about my story. I dunno what the title is yet, but it's some sort of a love story of.. some sort. hahah.

It's about Aoki and Kisuke, two people who are so different but share almost the same story and actually do fall in love... well, I hope it's not going to be cliched... like all my other stories. lol. :D

please support. :)

Such a kid.

Don’t you think that in a relationship, you’re supposed to understand each other, accept each other’s differences and forgive each other’s mistakes? I don’t know but it started all because I came home late from a very close friend’s party.

I am a girl. I may act like a boy and have interests in girls but please, I’m effing straight.

Anyway, he said that I had no discipline anymore and that I’ve changed a lot. He said that I’m not the girl he knows anymore.

Now, he doesn’t speak to me. Ignores me at school and totally avoids me. It’s gawd damn IRRITATING. For the love of cake, aren’t I the girl in this relationship? Man.

Immature. Just plain IMMATURE.
And now I have to understand him. He says I act like a kid. Well, yeah. I do. But at least I don’t THINK like one like he does. I understand the situation before saying anything else. I try to hold my tongue and stop it from saying anything that will make things worse. Please, why can’t we just sit down and talk about it? Darn. It’s really so frustrating.

Don’t you think like he’s acting like a fifth grader? Crap. And avoiding my friends too. Well, OUR friends. He only speaks to that best friend of his. Darn it. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED?! Please, GROW UP. Darn it.

I wont ever make the least effort anymore. He has got to learn what he needs to learn. I wont make things easier for you anymore. He has to see what’s in front off his eyes. He needs to know what it is without me. That way I can see if he really does love me like he says so. BUT FUCK. HOW CAN I LIVE WITH OUT HIM?!

I guess I just have to be patient and sit back and relax. Wait for him to make the first move and speak to him just like nothing happened. Man I want to laugh at him. Immature KID. Nyahahaha. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I am just so fucking frustrated.

Sorry for the f-words.

I don't understand.

I don't get it. I'm I really immature? Do I really lack discipline? Is it wrong to enjoy my high school life? Is it wrong to enjoy with my friends? *sigh*

I don't know if I should say sorry. I really think there's nothing wrong. Did I really change in a bad way? How? Am I really different from who I was before? Please. I need someone to tell me.

And I thought love wasn't like that. You said you'd love whoever I was. I never thought you had requirements for my personality. I don't get you. Why do we always fight over the same thing again and again and again? I don't know if I should let you go. I don't know what's right and what's wrong anymore. I feel that I gave up so much for you. I really do.

If it would only end up this way, why did you even tell me you love me in the first place? Why did you make me fall in love with you?! I should have been pretty normal right now. Maybe It would have been better for me to be trapped in to my little fantasy. Maybe I should have stayed in love with anime characters instead of choosing you.

But you know, I enjoy every single moment I spend with you. I love our laughter and your smile is always like sunshine. I love watching you in uniform and your sense of humor (though it might be blunt) always always makes my day a little bit brighter. You bring color to my dull world, Koitan. I love you soooooooooooo much. But I don't feel you anymore.

Why odn't you tell me what's wrong? You do trust me do you? Please talk...

HOLY COW. WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO COMPLICATED?!
..so much for my happy ending.

I FINALLY FOUND A NEW BAG I COULD WASTE MY MONEY ON 8D

OH MY GAWD I FOUND AN ORIGINAL VIVIENNE WESTWOOD BAG DOWNTOWN FOR ONLY 25% OF THE REAL PRICE OH MY GAWD OH MY GAWD I'M TOTALLY GETTING THAT BAG NO MATTER WHAT. I'M NOT GOING TO EAT FOR THREE WEEKS JUST TO GET MY HANDS ON THAT BAG. THAT BAG IS MINE!!!!!! >8D

price is JUST P750 OH MY GAWD

I maybe Hatsumomo, but you will never be Sayuri

I notice something odd with my house maid.

She copied my hairstyle.
She copied my hair color.
She copied my shampoo.
She buys high heels.
She copies my expressions.
...and now she has the same lotion as I do.

wtf. It's irritating you know. darn.

what?!

I like feminine looking guys, not feminine ACTING guys. For the love of cake, people. Leave me be! >__<>:(


Ah~ Miyavi~!


..and yes. He's male. Stupid people.

..just a little thought.

"Aasenso lamang ang Pilipinas kung mag tatrabaho ang mga Pilipino para sa bayan, at hindi lang para sa sarili."

-certain cell in my brain.

Special mention kay Sir Economics. Sorry tulog ko gina, haha. Four hours lang ytulog ko, eh. :D

Happy Day~

Yay! Today was the handing down of the positions of officers whatever of our CAT (Citizen Advancement Training)... I was happy for him, because he's the corps commander. Well, a girlfriend can't be proud enough, no? ;D

And, the issue is over. He told me a while ago that he didn't want to talk to me just because he wanted to make the first move. LOL. XD

And man my legs hurt! Standing there for more than an hour is really a pain in the hind. My back hurts, my legs hurt and my feet hurt. But man, did I enjoy it. It felt really nostalgic, since all this time, we were bashing CAT and our officers. But now it feels like we're going to miss it because that was the last time we formed. TwT

The fun part was, our commandant gave us snacks before we were dismissed, so we had sandwiches stuck to our mouths while forming. One of my classmates even put his sandwich in his pocket. rofl.

Anyway, I really owe a lot to my officers. I mean, they really do deserve the position they currently have, and I really do look up to them. Because they always arrive earlier before all off us do, stand longer than all of us do, get punished for our faults and well, they teach us even if they're so tired they wouldn't even want to blink. I don't know why I "rebelled", but maybe it was because I was so envious of them.

Yeah. I wanted to be one of them. I wish I could turn back time and join the officers. So I would be the one standing beside him, and not Ojo. hahaha. :)

>:(

It's really getting on my nerves. I hate this. I don't like it when people ignore me.
It's really really really frustrating.

Why can't he just tell me what's wrong?!

I had enough. All this time it's always been me who needs to understand. I always have to say sorry... I always have to make the first move. It's tiring, you know. Really.

I envy one of my friends for having such a wonderful boyfriend, who understands her and would always stays with her no matter what. I would love that kind of guy. A real guy who would always do everything for his girl. A guy who would always put so much effort for a girl that he loves.

I know I maybe asking too much from my boyfriend, but really.

All I need is a little bit of understanding.

I don't want to break up with him, because I love him. So much. But if he's forcing me to do what we both don't want to do, then... I don't know.

In a state of Shangfusion.

Shangfusion - shock, anger, and confusion.

Darn. Why can't things be the way I want them? Well, I guess that's the way things go. As always.
I mean, about this rambutan(this is the furry fruit I have been talking about) issue, I don't really understand why he should be so mad at me. I mean, I've given up almost everything for him, even to the extent that my brain tells me that I'm worshiping him. (You see, my brain is a different entity from myself, though I seldom listen to it.)

You see it all started when he said: "All you do is play games! you don't even study!"
NOT. Does he think I'm that lazy?! I do study. And even though it's not obvious, I actually get frustrated when I get low grades. And you know what the worst part is? He always scolds me but we're the same!! Doesn't he play video games when he gets home?! Sometimes he doesn't even know we have assignments!! GAAAAAAH.

So, continuing the story, we went to go and have lunch in the canteen. I never said I word because I was hurt with what he said. Remembering my math assignment, I went back to my classroom to get my book. Then, I went to the canteen and got myself a hotdog (them red sticks are bundles of joy >w<) whiloe doing my assignment. Before leaving, I called out to him to tell him that I was mad, but when I was pouring out all my anger and frustration... all he was doing was smiling. And that made me feel like I was being mocked. For the love of cake!!

So what I did... because of so much anger, I threw a rambutan (the furry fruit) at his head. It cracked open. And I ate it.

Of course, realizing that what I did was wrong, I went up to him to say sorry. And he said: "Palayo to ah!" ("Go away!") So I did. (but I was laughing) HAHAHAH.

And now, up to this day, he wont speak to me. I called him for more than thirty times already, no answer.

I really think It's immature.

WHY DID I EVEN WANT A BOYFRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE?! D:<

The Irony of it All.

Me and my boyfriend have been together for more than a year or so, and these past few days, I have come up to a realization that... well, I don't need a guy. Yes of course I do love him, and well I could actually say that he's been the best thing that ever happened in my entire life. I dunno what's gotten into me that made me think like this, but well, that's that. And a while ago? We fought and I threw some kind of furry fruit at his head.

Another thing.
About video games, if you can actually call them that nowadays, I really wonder why I can memorize almost all the commands in Tekken and Final Fantasy when I can't even memorize a single term in Economics (and etc.)... IRONY. Maybe I was born a gamer, no? haha.

And. I suddenly realized how sad it is to loose a home. I really feel lucky to have a place I can call a home, while others even have to look for carton boxes lying on the streets and try to make themselves comfortable in the sidewalks.

Life is complicated. :(